Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Long Walk



For two weeks this was our home. For the first 24 hours it was the most dreadful place I could imagine. For the next 12 days, it was just my home, like it or not. It was the pathway I took to visit Britton each morning, each afternoon, each evening. Living at a hospital can be tough, I've come to learn. We typically got 6-7 hours of sleep each night but we were always exhausted. The emotional drain of having a child in the NICU can be overwhelming at times.

Last night we returned to our own bed and slept much more soundly, but a return to a quasi-work week also looms. I believe Emily and I are just tired and so wanting to bring our son home into our arms. We now commute back and forth several times each day. I truly believe that this is the time now that begins to be very difficult--the intense trauma has ended, our adrenaline is spent and the daily grind of traveling back and forth sets in. We need your prayers for us as well. It's a game of waiting. We are so excited each time we see him and he warms our hearts with his smiles and fussiness, but then within an hour we say good-bye and plan to see him tomorrow.

I have learned a lot these past two weeks. Probably nothing more than the power or prayer. I am beside myself that so many would lift up this child to reflect God's glory in healing and restoring his body. I have been humbled as never before as I was deemed completely helpless. Sitting just outside the operating room while Emily had her c-section was a surreal experience. There was no crying to be heard through flapping doors that is typical when a baby enters our world, just beeps and rings and the rustling of nurses feet. I tried to pray, but more likely just kept asking "why?" This quote from Richard Sibbes comforts me now when I could find no words of comfort for myself then.

"When God means to bestow any blessing on His church or children He will pour out upon them the spirit of prayer and, as all pray for everyone, so everyone prays for all; this is a great comfort to weak Christians when they cannot pray, that the prayers of others shall prevail for them."

I have been weak often these past few days. But the prayers of God's people have encouraged us beyond anything that is in ourselves. We have experienced new joys. Continue to pray with us as this miracle begins to shine forth more and more each day.



Lastly, this was sung at our service this morning at Covenant Pres. It is one that still causes me to weep.

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have been out of town for a couple of days, and could hardly wait to get back to my computer to find out about Britton. God has heard the prayers of His people. We will continue to praise Him for the miracle of Britton, and continue to pray for Britton to come home healthy and soon! Carol Schaffeld

stephen smith said...

Danny,

I wish that I could Say that I don't know what you going through. But at the same time, God puts friends thought the same trials so that they can offer support to one another I suppose. Just remember that at some point YOU WILL GO HOME. I have peace in my heart that you all will go home soon. And always remember that you 2 are his best advocates. If there is ever a decision or procedure that is being suggested that your gut tells you it just isn't right, SPEAK UP! Yes the doctors and nurses know more than we the parent, but there were several instances in the 6 months we were in the NICU with Izadora, that our guts were completely correct. And the doctors admitted so. So don't be afraid to let your feelings be known. It is your child after all. I sympothize with your situation greatly. The constant sounding of alarms and monitors can just make you crazy. Even worse is the seemingly endless pokeing and proding of your child. At some point, you become numb to it and it won't drive you nuts anymore.

You are very blessed, he is adorable! Give our best to you lovely wife as well. God has a special plan for your son, unfortunately it just happens to begin in a NICU unit, that's all.

God Bless,

Stephen Smith

stephen smith said...

sorry for the spelling errors.

steve

Anonymous said...

Danny,
I got an email from Jeannine requesting prayer for Britton and you and Emily. Yall have been in my prayers since I got her email. I wish so much that I could take all of this from you. I know yall are struggling. A verse that has been so encouraging to me this past week for thing we are walking through.... Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." You and your family will continue to remain in my prayers. I love yall and pray that he will go stronger by the day and that the day will approach very quickly that you will be able to bring him home with you!!!

Anonymous said...

Danny,
I heard from my mom about what has been going on with your family. I have been praying for sweet little Britton as well as you and Emily. I can't imagine how difficult this time must be. I have been so encouraged to read the posts and see how God has continued to answer the prayers of His people. Thank you for sharing your journey and encouraging so many others with your faith. I will continue to pray for complete healing and for the time to approach very quickly when you both can take your baby boy home.
Linde Thompson

Anonymous said...

The Valentine family is praying for all of you and we have been following your blog faithfully. It seems that little Britton has a bit of Rebel in him also as he is defying the odds and doing so well. Hotty Toddy! Jesus, Lover of My Soul is one of our favorites also, and I pray that you all experience His "plentious grace" and "healing streams" as Britton continues to heal. 39 years ago I was born in very similar circumstances as Britton, and my father and grandparents were told that there was no fetal heartbeat and that there was no hope for a live birth -- and yet here I am as a testimony to the healing power of our Lord. When I am down, my daddy loves to remind me that I am a miracle, so don't ever stop reminding him of what a miracle he is and how he touched so many at such a young age. He is beautiful and I know you can't wait to have him at home. We are praying that happens soon.
Grace & peace,
Amy Valentine