We all need a little humor to begin our morning. This is Britton's Tattoo impersonation last night in a pre-burp pose. As you can tell, now that his Phenobarbital has been lowered he is a lot more alert and active. He'll actually keep a good stare going with you.
We just met with the Neurologist and he said the MRI looked pretty good with no seizure or stroke activity. He was very encouraged. The EEG did have a few abnormalities (jerky readings) but he said that could be attributed to the the phenobarbital which they are pulling way back on. Overall they are very encouraged by his his progress. He'll have another MRI before he is discharged which could be another two weeks from now. He must be able to feed well, gain weight and not have anymore dips in his oxygen saturation. Currently he's eating 10-15 ccs of milk every 3 hours. We would love to get home but we recognize that he is getting the best care possible here. All the nurses have been so great: Peyton, Holly, Amy, Jane, Robin, Pam, Suzanne. Continue to lift them up in prayer as well as they care for this son of ours.
I have been reading this week about joy and suffering. I've been trying to reconcile the two together. Our weeping has been intense at times, our frustrations have even been somewhat persistent, but thankfully our hope has not wavered--a hope built upon Christ's love for his people. I can assure you God's grace has enveloped us because anyone who knows me (and I mean anyone) can attest that I wear my feelings on my shirt sleeve and my emotions can at times drive my actions. Its a trait I wish was a little less developed. But, I have had a peace like none other during this tumultuous time--as has Emily. Your prayers and ours have been continually answered. I fully believe that God is restoring Britton's brain, kidneys, heart, etc. though his people lifting him up in prayer and God is receiving the glory. God is sovereign over not just the ends, but the means to the end. God's plan to heal Britton was/is through the prayers of his people. Prayer does move the hand of God and God delights in hearing the cries of his people. I have been overwhelmed by the response of all of our family/friends. I am at times numb to the news we have received (good and bad), but I rest soundly in the grip of God's grace. This is taken from a message from John Piper. It rings true in our lives:
"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation. If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. Therefore, let those also who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right." I Peter 4
I have come to see that pain and pleasure come to us not as opposites but as Siamese twins, strangely joined and intertwined. Nearly all my memories of acute happiness, in fact, involve some element of pain or struggle.
I have never heard anyone say, "The deepest and rarest and most satisfying joys of my life have come in times of extended ease and earthly comfort." Nobody says that. It isn't true. What's true is what Samuel Rutherford said when he was put in the cellars of affliction: "The Great King keeps his wine there"—not in the courtyard where the sun shines. What's true is what Charles Spurgeon said: "They who dive in the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls."
This is too cute. Britton had the hiccups in utero, but I didn't know what they were until the last week of my pregnancy. Apparently, it's still a problem. He hiccupped through his entire MRI. Enjoy ...
So far, today has been monumental! We have not yet had the opportunity to speak with the neurologist yet, but we did see the MRI report. It came back NORMAL!!!!! We are so excited! We will find out tomorrow the neurologist's interpretation of the MRI, EEG & head ultrasound, but the initial report from the radiologist is that the MRI is normal. Needless to say, we are overjoyed and relieved and a thousand other emotions.
In other news, Britton took his first bottle just a few minutes ago! Poor guy has been without food for 8 days. It is complicated for preemies to get the suck, swallow & breathe functions down, so the feeding starts out pretty slow. He just took 10ccs of milk and did pretty well. It only took him about 5 minutes or so to get it all down. They will feed him 10ccs every 3 hours. We are glad the boy is finally getting some food!
Sorry we don't have as much to write today. Last night Emily and I attended a shower for Britton which I'm sure Emily will have some pictures and thanks to post soon. This morning we are scurrying around. Emily gets her staples out, I'm working on two papers for ordination and oh yeah, the reason most of you even visit this site: Britton has his MRI this morning (we believe at 9 a.m.). We have not had any results yet from the EEG yesterday which we believe is a good sign. Continue to pray with us we see God work a miracle in this child's life.
From my devotional, Morning Thoughts by Octavius Winslow (the Holy Spirit has really been feeding my soul through these meditations on the Scriptures):
"He knows the way that I take." Job 23:10.
Untried, untrodden, and unknown as your future path may be, it is, each step, mapped, arranged, and provided for in the everlasting and unchangeable covenant of God. To Him who leads us, who accepts us in the Son of His love, who knows the end from the beginning, it is no new, or uncertain, or hidden way. We thank Him that while He wisely and kindly veils all the future from our reach, all that future- its minutest event- is as transparent and visible to Him as the past. Our Shepherd knows the windings along which He skillfully, gently, and safely leads His flock. He has traveled that way Himself, and has left the traces of His presence on the road. And as each follower advances- the new path unfolding at each step- he can exultingly exclaim, "I see the footprint of my Lord; here went my Master, my Leader, my Captain, leaving me an example that I should follow His steps." Oh, it is a thought replete with strong consolation, and well calculated to gird us for the coming year- the Lord knows and has ordained each step of the untrodden path upon which I am about to enter. Another reflection. The infinite forethought, wisdom, and goodness which have marked each line of our new path, have also provided for its every necessity. Each exigency in the history of the new year has been anticipated. Each need will bring its appropriate and adequate supply- each perplexity will have its guidance- each sorrow its comfort- each temptation its shield- each cloud its light. Each affliction will suggest its lesson- each correction will impart its teaching- each mercy will convey its message of love. The promise will be fulfilled to the letter, "As your day, so shall your strength be."
Yes, I did just finish seminary so I don't personally study for these anymore, but Britton is 1/2 way through his neurological exams. He had his EEG this morning a little before 8 a.m. The tech did not convey anything to us which, we hope, is a good sign. Typically only when something is really abnormal does the Neurologist come by... so no news is good news. He had his UAC (umbilical catheter) removed this morning as well which is a big step in us being able to hold him. Emily held him for about 25 minutes today, but his oxygen saturation kept dipping so that will need to be resolved. He's been a bit fussy which is a good thing.
One of our favorite little gifts has been a CD player we received for the NICU. He hasn't gotten into some of my favorite indie bands yet, but he does have some good tunes like some baby praise & hymn cds. Red Mountain Presbyterian also has a new CD out from the Gadsby Hymnal that he's been listening to some. I think he almost has it memorized. One song that I love is:
High Beyond Imagination
High beyond imagination is the love of God to man; Far too deep for human reason; fathom that it never can; Love eternal, richly dwells in Christ the Lamb. Love like Jesus' none can measure. Nor can dimensions know; 'Tis a boundless, endless river, and its waters freely flow. O ye thirsty, come and taste its streams below. Jesus loved and loves forever; Zion on His heart does dwell; He will never, never, never, leave his church a prey to hell. All is settled, and my soul approves it well.
God has been pouring his grace into our lives this past week. We have learned to place all our faith and hope in Him. We cannot fathom the depths of Christ's love for us His beloved.
Several things I (Danny) have learned: 1. I know absolutely nothing about babies and more specifically about babies on medicine. 2. If you want to go on a weight loss program do not be involved with a church when you have a child in the NICU (by the way the fritatta was fantastic this morning). 3. If you want to see how prayer humbles and unifies, then DO get involved in a church--the body of Christ at work is amazing. 4. It is not easy to hold your child for about 2 minutes and then not see him for another 12 hours. 5. God is doing something! Both in the lives of Emily and me, in Britton, and I even believe in the lives of people that know us or happen to stumble upon this blog. 6. Britton will never be able to escape from the phrase, "You are a miracle!" throughout his life. 7. Ministry has at times been painful, yet sweet. I pray that God uses this time in our life to love others more deeply and pray more diligently for those who hurt. 8. I love Britton more and more each day. 9. The visits, calls, emails, text messages, food, flowers, paid college tuition for Britton (more of a suggestion than a reality! :) ) have been so gracious. 10. Emily and I eagerly await the day to bring Britton home and have some sense of regularity to our little family...because in just a couple of years, he'll have a little sister on her way from China!
We've had many a sleepless night this past week. These are sweet words of comfort ... CHRIST'S SLEEPLESS VIGILANCE OVER HIS PEOPLE! (more from Octavius Winslow)
What an exalted and endearing truth is Christ's sleepless vigilance over his people! Imagine yourself threading your way along a most difficult and perilous path, every step of which is attended with pain and jeopardy, and is taken with hesitancy and doubt. Unknown to you and unseen, there is One hovering around you each moment—checking each false step—and guiding each doubtful one—soothing each sorrow—and supplying each need. All is calm and silent. Not a sound is heard, not a movement is seen; and yet, to your amazement, just at the critical moment, the needed support comes—you know not from where, you know not from whom. This is no picture of imagination.
Are you a child of God on your pilgrimage to paradise by an intricate and a perilous way? Jesus is near to you at each moment, unseen and often unknown. You have at times stood speechless with awe at the strange interposition on your behalf, of providence and of grace—no visible sign indicated the source of your help. There was no echo of footfall at your side, no flitting of shadow athwart your path. No law of nature was altered nor suspended, the sun did not stand still, nor did the heavens open. And yet deliverance, strange and effectual deliverance, came at a moment most unexpected, yet most needed.
It was Jesus your Redeemer, your Brother, your Shepherd, and your Guide! He it was who, hovering around you—unknown and unobserved, kept you as the apple of His eye, and sheltered you in the hollow of His hand. It was He who armed you with bravery for the fight—who poured strength into your spirit—and grace into your heart, when the full weight of calamity pressed upon them. Thus has He always been to His children. The eye that neither slumbers nor sleeps was upon you! He knew in what furnace you were placed, and was there to temper the flame when it seemed the severest. He saw your frail vessel struggling through the tempest, and He came to your rescue at the height of the storm!
How has He proved this in seasons of difficulty and doubt! How often, at a crisis the most critical of your history, the Lord has appeared for you! Your lack has been supplied—your doubt has been solved—and your perplexity has been guided. He has delivered your soul from death—your eyes from tears—and your feet from falling. You are never for an instant out of His heart—out of His thoughts—out of His hands—or out of His eye! Go then, and lay your weariness on Christ.
Jesus has all the treasures of the everlasting covenant, all the fullness of the Godhead, all the resources of the universe in His keeping, and at His disposal! Look at the starry sky—Jesus strewed it with its jewelry. Look at that enchanting landscape—Jesus enameled it with its loveliness. Look at that cloud-capped mountain—Jesus reared it. Look at that beauteous lily—Jesus painted it. Look at that soaring bird—Jesus feeds it.
He, with whom is all this strength and beauty, is your Brother! Are you not better and dearer to Him than these? He has loved and chosen you from all eternity, ransomed you with His blood, and inhabited you by His Spirit. Why, then, these fears? Why this distrust? All He requires of you is to bring to His fullness your emptiness—to His sympathy your grief—to His unerring wisdom your confusion—and to His sheltering wing your temptations and trials. Spread your case before Him in the humble confidence of a child. Listen to His words—"I am the Lord your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt: open your mouth wide, and I will fill it."
Tonight was the first time we got to hold baby Britton! Our sweet nurse went through a lot of trouble to let us get our hands on him. It was a sweet time for Danny & me.
There is not much new to report today, though Britton did get off all breathing support (no nasal prongs or anything). He also had several crying fits today in response to being picked up, given a bath, etc. This is a great sign. We also had a good awake spell today, and got to see him follow us with his (still groggy) eyes. The nurse commented that he has improved so much from even yesterday! The plan is for him to have his EEG tomorrow, giving us an idea of his brain activity. He will also hopefully get his umbilical catheter out tomorrow. This will allow us to hold him more freely. He is scheduled for an MRI on Wednesday (though the plan changes often), and we also hope that he starts his feeding tube on Wednesday. This will get his stomach going before he tries a bottle.
We'll update tomorrow. We hope to know the results of the EEG promptly, but we realize that it may not happen. We, of course, are praying that the EEG will show nothing seriously abnormal. As always, we covet your prayers. Thanks for keeping updated on Britton's progress. What a miracle he is!?
When our son was very sick in the NICU, a friend monogrammed his initials on a blanket for us. As she stitched the letters B - G - D, she thought of the phrase "By God's Design" ... as surely our son's condition did not take Him by surprise. Even as our son came home and has continued to thrive, and as our family has recently grown by adoption, we rest in knowing that all of this has been By God's Design.
Britton
Britton is our little miracle boy! He came into this world on his way out of it. Born without a heartbeat, he joined the land of the living when he was nine minutes old. He has made an amazing recovery since, and is truly our beautiful, little miracle boy … our gift from God! He spends his days learning to be a sweet big brother and just generally being ALL BOY. To catch the beginning of his story, click on his picture.
Lia Katherine
Lia Kate is our precious chosen child! She was adopted from China over Christmas '09 and we are loving life with her. She is our girly girl with a particular affection for all things shoes, dresses and baby dolls. She is full of joy and laughter and our lives are richly blessed with her in it. Click her picture to read her adoption story from the beginning.
Caroline Collins
Collins is our sweet 7-month-old in China! We can't wait to bring her home. Maybe another Christmas in China?
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