A Long Walk

For two weeks this was our home. For the first 24 hours it was the most dreadful place I could imagine. For the next 12 days, it was just my home, like it or not. It was the pathway I took to visit Britton each morning, each afternoon, each evening. Living at a hospital can be tough, I've come to learn. We typically got 6-7 hours of sleep each night but we were always exhausted. The emotional drain of having a child in the NICU can be overwhelming at times.

Last night we returned to our own bed and slept much more soundly, but a return to a quasi-work week also looms. I believe Emily and I are just tired and so wanting to bring our son home into our arms. We now commute back and forth several times each day. I truly believe that this is the time now that begins to be very difficult--the intense trauma has ended, our adrenaline is spent and the daily grind of traveling back and forth sets in. We need your prayers for us as well. It's a game of waiting. We are so excited each time we see him and he warms our hearts with his smiles and fussiness, but then within an hour we say good-bye and plan to see him tomorrow.

I have learned a lot these past two weeks. Probably nothing more than the power or prayer. I am beside myself that so many would lift up this child to reflect God's glory in healing and restoring his body. I have been humbled as never before as I was deemed completely helpless. Sitting just outside the operating room while Emily had her c-section was a surreal experience. There was no crying to be heard through flapping doors that is typical when a baby enters our world, just beeps and rings and the rustling of nurses feet. I tried to pray, but more likely just kept asking "why?" This quote from Richard Sibbes comforts me now when I could find no words of comfort for myself then.

"When God means to bestow any blessing on His church or children He will pour out upon them the spirit of prayer and, as all pray for everyone, so everyone prays for all; this is a great comfort to weak Christians when they cannot pray, that the prayers of others shall prevail for them."

I have been weak often these past few days. But the prayers of God's people have encouraged us beyond anything that is in ourselves. We have experienced new joys. Continue to pray with us as this miracle begins to shine forth more and more each day.



Lastly, this was sung at our service this morning at Covenant Pres. It is one that still causes me to weep.

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.