Day 19

"O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger. When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?" Psalm 8:1-4

Today is Saturday, but the days have become so blurred. We typically return from the hospital each night around 10 p.m. As you can imagine, some nights are easier than others to leave his side. Last night was a difficult one as we just wanted to be with Britton as long as we could. The reality that the NICU is going to be his home for a time is still setting in. We suspect, but have been given no indication, that he'll return home around his due date (Feb. 8) if he continues to improve clinically. Almost all of the beds in the NICU have new children in them since Britton arrived. It is hard to watch the families depart for home. We pray for their families as they begin the tough task of post-NICU parenting.

I did pass both of my ordination written exams which is miracle in itself in light of our current events. I will sit before the examination committee this coming Tuesday. If all is smooth we will be preparing for my ordination service on the evening of March 9th. It somewhat pales in comparison to what we've experienced with Britton, but it is still a milestone that is 6 years in the making.

Emily and I are still processing all that has happened in the past 3 weeks and there is still so much uncertainty -- which is the most difficult to digest. It has been sweet to see her love Britton, pray for our family, and be so gracious towards all of our visitors. Our love for each other has deepened and we look forward to raising a family together.


Dad and Britton sharing a pose

"Another strong consolation in this hour of your grief is the truth that, this event- so dark and crushing- was among the 'all things' of the everlasting covenant, and that, therefore, it must be right. Not by accident or chance- for there are no such terms in the Christian's vocabulary has this bereavement transpired. Your mind, in its first transport of grief; finds it difficult to grasp this anchor of your tempest-driven soul; and you can see nothing but darkness and mystery in an event that veils- as with scenery of your life. But, oh, heed the precious truth with which the King of Israel- wading far deeper and darker waters than yours- controlled their turbulence, and floated safely and serenely upon their topmost wave: "Although my house be not so with God; yet has He made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure: and this is all my salvation, and all my desire, though He makes it not to grow." In this same covenant is ordered your present shadow- ordered by the eternal purpose, the infinite wisdom, and divine love of your covenant God. Allow this truth to have its full weight with your bewildered mind, and anguished spirit, and your broken heart will sob its sweet response- "IT IS WELL!"" Octavius Winslow (a great companion in 2008)